I agree with you. I am a former surgeon myself. I think the only two things we have control of are love and forgiveness. Our life experience is similar to a person watching a movie. I have also seen multiple parallel branches of experience in my life, simultaneously. And, even weirder things. The best thing I ever did was to leave medicine, and become a bohemian. I’ve got the poetry to prove it. Lol. I recommend magic mushrooms, if you want to discover more!