Nicely written, but you are getting hung up on the confusion generated by the nonsense idea of nothingness. There is only something, nothingness does not exist… by its very own definition. Read the “Fragments of Parmenides.” Zen mysticism is BS, pure and simple. You are something. You come from something. You will return to something. Shake off the corrupting influence of other “masters.” They are scam artists that know very little about the world. Their real mission is just to confuse you.